A moment of confusion.

This month has been a rollercoaster.

I went on vacation to the seaside towards the end of August, and brought a few books with me just in case, not expecting to actually read much as I was on vacation from studying as well.

I was so confused by the concept of free time that I ended up spending hours with Japanese. My very first day had me finish a novel, do my reviews, start a new novel, read the NHK news, keep track of the forum, go swimming, dry off, make a few friendship bracelets to keep my hands busy, have a healthy breakfast, set up camp and everything…before 2 pm (I had left at 3am). I just didn’t know what to do with free time. I was not sure whether that was a good thing or not, but hey, it made me win Tadoku so all was good.

By day 5 of vacation I was reading maybe an hour a day, neglecting my reviews and not even touching the news. That’s when I came back… and I haven’t been quite the same.

September is my laziest month so far. Compared to my average of 90 hours per month, and August being my best month with 123 well-divided hours, I’ve gotten about 17 hours in until now (19th of the month). This is quite pathetic. And the worst part is I’m not exactly sure why this is happening; surely, 3 months before the exam is no time for burning out.

Granted, I just changed environments (different city, I’m back in my old room where I used to procrastinate a lot, my social life is booming), and real life has been keeping me busy (Working on some books for the publishing house, medical issues galore), so it’s sort of understandable. But I don’t like the fact that random external factors can break my laboriously built routine so easily. It’s always depressing when it happens =(.


2 thoughts on “A moment of confusion.

  1. I had to do a double-take in that second-to-last paragraph when you said you averaged “90 hours per week” but eventually figured out that you meant per month.

    Anyway, I relate to this whole post. I just returned from a 3-month vacation back to the States (in which I had almost no free time) and so now I get what I was doing done in just an hour or two alone at a cafe.

    I am right around 20 hours per week (or 80 per month) by the way. Between there and one hundred feels perfect to me. Any more or less and I start to get fidgety…

    • Haha yes, per month ^^’ I should edit that, thanks for pointing it out.

      The problem with me is that I am really poor at routines, and though I try really hard to maintain a minimum amount of it for Japanese, it’s really hard. It helps that I go from overtly busy weeks to overtly free ones.

      80 per month sounds like a really good number, though :). And I think it’s cool that you’re keeping track of weekly stats instead of monthly; I find that often I neglect studies in a certain area up until the end of the month, when I cram on it to get at least close to my target goal ^^’.

      Also, a 3-month-vacation is a good excuse. Having all the time in the world but no concentration/motivation/whatnot whatsoever is not :P.

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